1. Mary Tyler Moore has finally found a way to stop the aging process: by encasing herself in solid bronze. You can feed her through a straw at the corner of Nicollet Mall and 7th Street.
2. Texting and driving? Not a problem!
3. At Barnes and Noble on Nicollet, they employ a Edmontonian behind the front counter, who magically appears to help you the second you say, "eh?"
4. Ike's Food & Cocktails, 50 S 6th Street. Whatta burger.
5. Illegal billboards. No stop signs or flashing red lights are allowed on billboards in Canada: something to do with "safety."
In Minneapolis, it's no problem for an educational institution to not only slap a giant stop sign on a poster, but to use gangsta-style graffiti to accentuate its message. Ooooh, Minnesota State Community and Technical College is sooooo street!
6. First Avenue: the only concert venue I know that warms up a concert crowd by playing loud music over closed-captioned DVDs.
7. Seeing a skyway, and not being able to get Minneapolis-native Paul Westerberg's song, "Skyway" out of your head for the next six months.
8. No guns allowed at the Children's Museum. I feel safer already.
9. Did I mention: Swine Flu-fighting cereal?!
10. In Minneapolis, you - or anyone - can be a star.
A Minneapolis visit must include a few hours of CD shopping at the Electric Fetus.
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