Every catchphrase is relative: relative

 

Big boy meets big grasshopper.

Who needs Gary "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?" Coleman when you've got my cousin, Derek?

Before Derek was an international man of mystery, fighting giant grasshoppers full of nuclear radiation in downtown Tokyo, he was a little kid with a big catchphrase.

I've always been envious of anyone with a catchphrase, and Derek's was pretty good: "But I'm a big boy!"

Derek's mom: Bedtime!
Derek: But I'm a big boy!

Derek's mom: Bathtime!
Derek: But I'm a big boy!

Derek's mom: Come here, so I can wipe that mud and ice cream off your face.
Derek: But I'm a big boy!

He said it about 1,000 times a day, so it was surprising when - at the end of a long day of I'm a Big Boys - the family chilled out in my neighbor's pool and Derek tiptoed his way to the end of the diving board, where he stood for a very long time.

"Jump in!" we yelled.

"But I'm just a little boy!"

And a new - and even better - catchphrase was born.