It's a sketchy day in the neighborhood

Sketchy.

Of course, I'm talking about my Flip Video technique and inability to laugh away from the mic, not this year's CreCommedy class making a group of invited dignitaries from other classes (and each other) laugh with their sketch-writing and acting prowess.

Who says writers can't draw?

Draw!

Who says a writer can't draw? Certainly not me, after marking some pretty awesome storyboards from my first-year advertising class.

A small sample of the artistic genius (each frame is from a separate storyboard):

Blinded by 12 new words, many starting with D

 See number 5.

1. Banktioning - Sanctioning banks. 

2. Debt-it Card - Cards you use at points-of-purchase to buy things you can't afford.

3. Decomposers - Dead songwriters.

4. Deeprest - What you get when you lie down on a distur-bed.

5. Deucebag - Anyone who hears anything other than the word "deuce" in the song above.

6. Diss-respect - Holding put-downs in high regard.

7. Diss-stressed - Feeling ill at ease after being the target of a put-down.

8. Distur-bed - The place you lie down to get deeprest.

9. Empty-Ass Centre - The proper pronunciation of MTS Centre. 

10. Justus - Justice for ourselves and no one else.

11. Loutallica - Lou Reed plus Metallica.

12. Obeythoven - Doing everything Beethoven, the decomposer, tells you to do.

When is "something new" not?

Red? Something new!

Never mind the Sex Pistols, here's something new!

When I was a kid growing up on the mean streets of white, middle-class, Protestant suburbia, there was a magical time that came but once a year.

I could only be talking about "Charleswood in Motion Days," which had something to do with getting people out of their homes and outside together to play games of chance and introduce cotton candy and tiny donuts to their already shaky metabolisms.

At night, we'd wash it all down at the beer garden, where we'd be treated to some of the greatest bands that Charleswood had to offer. Which is to say: they sucked.

One year, the emcee offered the crowd a glimmer of hope. 

"Are you guys ready for something new?" he shouted from the stage. Desperate, we took the bait.

"Yeah!" we yelled.

"Ladies and gentlemen - here's something new!"

The band ran out and the lead singer said, "Hi everyone. We're something new!" and launched into a lame Suffragette City cover.

Which is when we realized that Something New wasn't something new - it was the name of the band. And we'd seen them play the identical set the previous year.

"Boo!" we yelled. "We want something new!"

"Thank you," said the lead singer.

The following year, we formed our own band called Nothing Special. We opened for Something New.

All hail the king and queen of CreCommedy Night '11

Hi Ho Cherry-O! Brea Perrelli tears up the room. 

Snort. 

CreCommedy Night '11 at Rumor's was a raging success this year, as 28 of Red River College's funniest and bravest students took to the stage to perform stand-up comedy for the first time.

That was my cue to look into the camera with a serious face and say, "Funny." 

Special thanks to Cara Lytwyn who tore up the room as our host and emcee, to all of the CreComm grads and friends who stopped by to watch and judge the big show, and to Rumor's for allowing us to crash the place.

People's choice awards

Our panel of 10 judges has spoken and selected these comics as our top five of the night: 

1. Dylan Hughes

2. Mike Tanasychuk

3. Adam Campbell

4. Brea Perrelli

5. Andrew Parker. 

Pale, gangly, specter Dylan Hughes.

Forgive my snorts and guffaws into the camera. I know it's bad. I'm working on it. Snort.

Well done all. Incidentally, the point spread is less than six marks out of 20, from highest to lowest. A squeaker that attests to the quality of the show.

A DVD of the evening's festivities will be available shortly. Watch this blog for more details. 

See you next year.

Ten new words to the beleadered, beleaguered, and bebiebered

See number one. 

1. Beleadered - Having too many leaders from which to choose.

2. Blogola - Money paid to a blogger to get him/her to write about something.

3. Cashlicity - Paid publicity, just not to a blogger.

4. Dessembler - Things fall apart at Christmas. Let's rename the month.

5. Laziargist - People who steal writing because they're too lazy to do it themselves.

6. Myearacle - A year of magic and wonder.

7. Plutonic Friends - Friends without benefits living near Fukushima.

8. Prayerea - The radius affected by your requests to a divinity.

9. Tapatizer - Tapas and appetizers: together at last.

10. Whoribull - Terrible, whorish, b.s. The worst kind.